If someone had said to me back in 2008 that in the next nine years I would publish nineteen music albums of original music I would have told them that they were insane.
Yet unbelievably I have just published my nineteenth music album.
“Where Angels Dance,” features vibrant worship instrumentals that were all inspired by the Holy Spirit.
Music was never one of my gifts growing up, nor did I ever want anything to do with any of the performance arts.
I was passionate about Art. I never sat down without a pen and sketchpad.
I had taught art, worked as a freelance artist, written and illustrated my own books, and earned my college degree in art & writing. I was certain that God had called me to be a children’s book author and Illustrator.
One day I fell asleep after taking my dog for a walk.
I dreamed I went to Heaven.
There I saw angels and saints dancing before Christ’s Throne.
They were joyfully worshiping the Lord.
Beautiful music was playing in the background as they danced.
When I awoke from my dream, the music was echoing in my mind.
The Lord spoke to my heart, “You can play that song.”
The keyboard that my sister had given us was in front of me.
I felt compelled to try even though there was no reason I should have any hopes of playing that beautiful song from my dream.
Except that the Lord had said I could. And if God said I could, it must be true since He can’t lie.
But what if I was just imagining that God said it?
The only way to find out would be to try…
I sat down and played that song. It was amazing but somehow, I just knew how to do it.
My version wasn’t as lovely as what I had heard in the dream, but it sounded similar.
When the Lord taught me how to play the piano, it was purely by faith. All He asked of me was that I believed His word to me, “You can play that song.”
After I played that one song, He said, “From now on you can play any song I teach you. Just believe.”
“He spoke and it was done, He commanded and it stood fast.” Psalm 33:9
Though I had never wanted to be a musician before, suddenly, I loved worshiping God with this beautiful new gift.
Then the Lord asked me to SHARE the praise music He’d taught me to play.
I froze. It was one thing to play these songs that sounded amazing to me just for the Lord in my worship time, but quite another to make them public.
FEAR & DOUBT reared their ugly heads and whispered, “You know absolutely nothing! These songs only sound good to you because you don’t know anything at all about music. You are only an artist, you aren’t really a musician. No one will listen to this music from God and everyone will make fun of you.”
It was then that I decided, “Maybe the Lord wants me to take piano lessons.”
However, after going through three piano teachers and never being able to quite finish even one beginner book because reading notes was such a challenge for me, I finally realized it was not what the Lord wanted for me.
“For we walk by faith and not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7)
One teacher looked at a printed musical score from an original composition from the Lord and just shook her head, mystified. “This is way beyond you.”
“But I created it, I mean, God created it through me,” I said.
One great thing did come of my piano lessons though. I loved learning the music scales! Somehow that is the one thing that I could master and the Lord helped me use this knowledge to compose many prayer songs.
Yet my music from the Lord sounded very different from other contemporary Christian music.
I had to come to terms with the fact that its true Creator, the risen Lord Jesus Christ who lives in my heart, was composing His music through me just the way He wanted it.
I had to trust Him that it was good enough.
This was going to take a significant leap of faith and courage.
When I had been working as a professional artist, I would never submit anything unless it rose to my “perfectionist” standards.
To me, my piano prayers were a beautiful gift from the Lord that I played back to Him in worship. They did not have to measure up to any human standard of musical taste or preference for I knew that Jesus had made them, loved them, and accepted them.
Now the Lord was asking me to share His songs with the public who did measure its music to a standard. I had no idea what those musical standards or preferences were. I had absolutely no musical knowledge. It was not something the Lord told me to study or learn about. He just asked me to play His songs~then share them.
“Oh Lord, I’m just an artist, not a real musician. Do You really want me to share Your songs?”
Suddenly I realized I could say, “Yes or no, Lord,” to His beautiful gift.
But then, He had laid down His life for me. He had said to His Father when faced with a humiliating, agonizing death on the cross just to bear all my sins, to be made a curse for me so that I might have eternal life with Him, “Father, not My will but Thy will.”
He knew people would make fun of Him, scorn Him, reject Him, that He would even have to face the cold dark waters of death, the stench of hell where His beloved Father, from whom He had never been separated could not come. He faced all of this to pay the ransom for my soul.
How could I, if I truly loved my Savior, not lay down my life, my will for Him? How could I not share His songs, come what may?
True love lays down its life for Jesus.
I realized then, it’s not about me, or my will, but what God wants to do through me, even if I end up looking like a fool.
Love obeys her Lord and Savior no matter what He asks her to do for Him.
The most amazing thing I’ve learned through this experience is that God would choose an ordinary sinful woman like me, saved only by the almighty grace of her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and say, “Here is a gift. All you need to do is receive it by faith.”
Just like the gift of salvation He offers each of us in Christ.
And then it terrified me that He would take that same ordinary Christian woman, and say, “Now use that gift for My glory!”
I’m not perfect, far from it, nor is any of my music.
But God uses imperfect vessels.
God up and turned me into a musician for HIS glory-not mine.
He put in me a gift I knew absolutely NOTHING about.
How I thank the Lord for the way He has used the gift of music to lovingly humble me in all of my other gifts.
“God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.” Ephesians 3:20-21(The Message Bible)
Most of the music the Lord gives me is inspired by the Bible.
The songs all begin as prayers, and I will praise the Lord forever for giving me this wonderful way to worship Him.
This music is very special for it truly is a gift from God. It never ceases to amaze and humble me how He plays His music through me.
My fervent prayer is that many people will be blessed and encouraged by this gift of God’s music. For all of the songs are essentially prayers ascending to heaven in a musical form breathed into life by the God who lives in me.
Heavenly Father, may You use this music and story to bless and encourage someone today to step out in faith to trust You and believe that with God all things are truly possible, and that when we walk by faith, we honor and glorify You, even as Abraham did so long ago, who, “staggered not at the promises of God…” Thank You, Lord, In Jesus name, amen.